DOGE Fires Holy Spirit
In a suprise austerity move, DOGE has fired the Holy Spirit. The Trinity’s budget for the next fiscal year will be reduced by one third.
The DOGE Muskateers acted without advance consultation with the White House Faith Office. Surprised by the unprecedented action, senior Advisor to the Faith Office, Rev. Paula White, questioned the firing of the Holy Spirit. She had been relying on the third person of the Trinity to deliver her miraculous blessings. Now, according to a DOGE spokesperson, Rev. White will have to rely on the United States Postal Service for delivering her miracles. But, the spokesperson added, she had better hurry to spread those miracles before the USPS becomes privatized.
The season is Passover and Easter. The 2025 Pay-to-Pray Program asks for donations of $125 to receive a crystal cross and a communion set. For a donation of $1000 or more, Pastor White will release 7 supernatural miracles on behalf of the donor. Which miracles? Those in Exodus 23.
- Assign an angel to you. “Behold, I send an Angel before you…”
- Be an enemy to your enemies “I will be an enemy to your enemies…”
- Give you prosperity “So you shall serve the LORD, your God, and He will bless your bread and your water”
- Take sickness away from you “And I will take sickness away from the midst of you”
- Give you a long life “I will fulfill the number of your days”
- Bring increase and inheritance “… until you have increased, and you inherit the land
- Give a special year of blessing
For the truly selfish person at prayer, this list of divine blessings is well worth $1000 or even more.
Not listed here are prayers we might offer on behalf of peace in Gaza, soverignty in Ukraine, preservation of our planet’s ecosphere, sustenance for the starving people of Sudan, funding for medical research, and racial justice wherever it is denied.
When we donate to Paula White Ministries, where will this money go? Perhaps to the former recipients of USAID global humanitarian assistance to prevent suffering from Ebola or HIV. Perhaps these donations to Paula White Ministries will make up for US government funds suspended for such humanitarian work. Right?
Or, might this be fake news?
What Would Jesus Do?
Let’s ask: what would Jesus do? He would reiterate what we find in the Torah. “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18). The neighbor, according to Jesus, includes even your enemy. Here’s what he says in the Sermon on the Mount.
‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy.” But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? (Matthew 5:43-46a)
Conscientious Jews and Christians who love their Bibles also love God and their neighbors. Such love expressed as justice and mercy is no longer guiding America’s moral compass. How might we reinstate justice and mercy as the North Star that once again will Make America Great Again?
Many of us might find something in Rev. Paula White’s theology that falls short of full fledged biblical loving in civic commitment. “Love does not seek its own good, but that of another,” writes St. Paul (1 Cor. 13:5; Phil. 2:4). Martin Luther follows by suggesting that he or she or they who love “ought to feel pain that the condition of its neighbor is not better than its own and wish that its neighbor’s condition were better than its own…’For this is the law and the prophets’ (Matt. 7:12).”[1]
No such inspiration for this kind of love emanates currently from the White House or the White House Faith Office. Nor does justice and mercy, Yet, America desparately needs such inspiration far more than restoring cut budgets.