Globalism and America-Hating Destroy the Fun of Watching the Olympics
Whenever the Olympics come back around, I always hear Jerry Seinfeld’s voice in my head asking, “So what’s the deal with nations competing against each other for precious metals? Isn’t nationalism supposed to be unfashionably fascist?”
It’s all very strange. The globalists who insist on running the world from boardrooms and government cathedrals have nothing but contempt for national pride. It makes you wonder: If the “open borders” crowd continues to get its way and jumbles Western populations so thoroughly (note that countries such as Russia, China, and Japan are cleverly sidestepping this whole mass-migration mess) that England ends up looking indistinguishable from Pakistan and Germany resembles Turkey, will there be any nations left to compete in the Olympics? Or will the whole thing devolve into some mindless inanity in which “Team United Nations” plays “Team United Nations” in every event and in every single game?
The whole thing is a depressing mess. I really used to get into the Olympics. Like so many other Americans, I dedicated substantial time and energy to learning the rules of exotic sports that I didn’t even know people played (and secretly wondered, “Could I maybe do that and become a world champion?”). I joined others in crowding near hastily set-up television screens in otherwise dark bars so we could remind each other of all the dizzying historic facts we had only recently learned on TV.
“Well, akshually, so-and-so was a beloved curler and largely responsible for inventing the yipsy-dipsy-twiddle-flip-turn-and-release,” I’m sure I said at least once. Who hasn’t yelled at a screen in front of strangers, “He can’t do that!” or “Did you see what those cheating Russians just did?” I have always taken immense pleasure in discovering a sport, learning all its arcane rules over a few beers, and then transforming into an expert commentator capable of explaining the esoteric minutiae that make this sport I just discovered one of the finest sports ever invented.
Why? Because American athletes were competing against athletes from other nations, and all good Americans want American athletes to destroy the athletes of other nations! It’s that simple. Everybody knows it’s true. It’s a form of symbolic conquering, a way for Americans to say, “See, we told you we’re No. 1. Our guys just squashed your guys in this sport I never even knew existed. Haha.”
Let’s not pretend other countries haven’t always done the same thing. All over the world, patriotic citizens from faraway lands huddled around little screens or radios too, and they all prayed to their gods for “just one chance to beat the Americans.” The smaller the country, the more likely its people’s passions bubbled into raw euphoria every time the Americans looked beaten … But we’re Americans. We don’t get beaten. Sometimes we have to crush the small countries too — in the interest of American-ness.
But this year’s Winter Olympic Games continues a distressing trend over recent decades in which many prominent American athletes whine about how awful it is to be an American. Some ostensibly dual-citizen American après-ski-chic chick actually competes for communist China. Every time I check out Olympic videos, she’s telling the world in her best valley-girl voice how she’s always “felt Chinese.” Then she talks about how bad America is and how wonderful communist China is. Chinese social media and pop culture websites have made her a top story in a nation with over a billion people. She literally gets paid to go all “Hanoi Jane” against Americans.
A civilized country would never let her return. Sorry, go learn Mandarin, attend one of Xi’s universities, and try to avoid getting picked up by Chinese Communist Party police and thrown into one of the country’s “luxurious” political gulags for “liking” the wrong thing online.
Then we’ve got all the upper-class “ski dudes” and “snow bunnies” who enjoyed pampered childhoods while their parents doled out tens of thousands of dollars so they could hang out in vacation villas each year and work on their “sport.” These young athletes have been around, you know. They’ve seen terrible things in this world, man. In between $15 venti-salted-caramel-mocha-frappuccinos and afternoon Lomi Lomi massages, they have totally, like, seen how federal ICE agents are “hunting” immigrants. Like, we have to defund the police because Trump’s Gestapo is murdering people for dropping off their kids at school … and stuff.
Listening to American athletes bash America on the world stage makes me want to void all their passports and leave them in Europe, where they can fend for themselves against the roving hordes of Islamic “newcomers” whose primary contribution to the continent’s resplendent “diversity” has been their culturally alien proclivity for raping women and children. I certainly can’t be convinced to care about their fake “sports” if they can’t be convinced to pretend to be Americans. They bash America but expect Americans to love them. That’s the Democrat Party through and through.
Now that President Trump has set up his “Board of Peace” to replace the United Nations, maybe we need a MAGA Olympics to replace the wussy one that currently exists. I’d tune into any sporting event that features raw patriotic pride. I would even attempt to learn the rules and feign expertise. I’m American. We like to win things. That’s what we do.