Selfish Liberals Hate Selfless Marital Love
It seems that every few weeks or so, leftist culture warriors come up with some dramatic declaration against marriage. The latest installment on X featured an AI-generated couple mid-proposal, as the man’s offer of a ring on bended knee is “duplicated” in a shadow on the wall behind them and depicted as the man cutting off her wings.
No, really, that was the video.
Another video that went viral recently showed a woman hesitantly sliding a diamond ring on her finger, only to be haunted by visions of painful childbirth, tiring motherhood, and grueling household chores as she watched herself become a shell of her former self.
Our cultural vendetta against marriage as a general concept is rooted in selfishness. Arguments that marriage is specifically harmful to women, however, are something verging on an almost spiritual assault: namely, our culture’s general discomfort with the idea that familial relationships require women to give up anything for a man. What a woman must give up for marriage is anathema to the world.
For women taught that success is primarily defined by their own personal achievements, the idea that a relationship could be any part of that success is both shocking and repulsive. Particularly if that relationship is understood to be inherently giving. It is true that marriage—a good marriage at least—strengthens you. It provides lasting love and security, and a companion in life until death parts you. But it also tests you and, in some cases, doubles your sorrows. While you do have a proverbial “shoulder to cry on” in marriage, you also now share in the troubles of another. You shoulder your spouse’s worries as well.
For a woman specifically, whether it’s bearing children, cleaning her home, or stepping back from a career, she faces many things in marriage that society judges to be setbacks. The world will offer far more accolades to the successful careerist than to the dutiful wife. But that is only because society values the wrong things—such as career, finances, and “self-actualization”—over what truly matters. And what truly matters will always cost you something.
In today’s world, women are praised for putting themselves first. They are frowned upon for putting others, least of all their husbands, first. In some ways, it is hard to blame the modern woman for fearing the future that marriage offers her. There is no such thing as a good marriage between two people in love with their own egos.
In a marriage, both spouses are constantly asked to pay attention to the good of the other person, often in contrast to their own wants or desires. The downstream effect of this kind of giving of oneself for the good of one’s husband is to give him children—something which requires a life of constant selfless sacrifice on the part of the woman if she means to do it well.
It can also give her more purpose and meaning than any self-actualized girlboss could enjoy, yet no one with the selfish mentality of our culture will be lucky enough to experience this if messages that are so opposed to living for others (least of all a man) persist. The moment her husband leaves his socks on the floor by the hamper or her toddler’s tantrum disrupts her fun dinner plans, a crowd of vindictive feminists will be only too happy to tell her that is all there is to the relationships that now dominate her life.
To cultivate a culture that values marriage again, conservatives must first address our hubristic tendency to paint any relationship in which one is asked to give something to the other as inherently bad. While there are undoubtedly personal benefits to a good marriage, conservatives shouldn’t focus on those. Rather, they should make a compelling case that living your whole life selflessly devoted to another is good in itself.
https://chroniclesmagazine.org/web/selfish-liberals-hate-selfless-marital-love